Thursday’s Hot Clicks: The Russian Slapping Championships Are Absolutely Brutal

My man in the blue is a tank

The winters are long in Russia, and especially in Siberia. Sometimes you need to do something stupid to make yourself feel alive, like stand in front of another man and let him slap you as hard as he can. A large group gathered recently in the city of Krasnoyarsk (population about 1 million) to slap, be slapped and watch some slapping. It wasn’t just for fun, though. There was a prize of 30,000 rubles ($470) on the line. 

The competition was absolutely brutal. Nearly every man who dared step up to the man in the blue sweater had to have someone standing behind him to catch him when his knees buckled. 

Would it shock you to learn that blue sweater guy (Vasily Kamotskiy) won the tournament and took home the 30,000 rubles? 

If you’re brave enough, here’s a seven-minute highlight reel from the competition (also featuring a very funny ad for Russian protein powder). 

I found my March Madness team

When Abilene Christian takes on Kentucky tonight, ACU coach Joe Golding will be wearing pants with a hole in the butt. That’s because Golding only owns one suit and ripped the seat of his pants celebrating the Wildcats’ conference tournament win. Abilene, despite being a city of over 100,000 people, only has one suit shop, and the tailor there was unable to fix the hole, so Golding is rocking trousers with a little extra ventilation. 

As someone who owns precisely one necktie (that my high school gave to me for graduation), I relate strongly to Golding. I hope he and his ripped pants kick John Calipari and his designer suits’ asses. 

The best of SI

UCF’s Tacko Fall is more than just a guy who’s 7'6". ... USC’s water polo program was both a national powerhouse and a central figure in the “Operation Varsity Blues” scandal. ... Astros star Alex Bregman wants to make baseball cool again. ... I made a list of one fun fact about each team in the NCAA tournament. 

Around the sports world

55 people complained to the FCC about Adam Levine taking off his shirt during the Super Bowl halftime show. ... The tenures of two towering Philadelphia hoops figures ended on Tuesday. ... It’s probably not a good sign for the AAF that it had to move its championship game from Las Vegas to the Cowboys’ practice facility on just a month’s notice. ... A group of golfers in Texas was totally unbothered by an enormous fire raging at a nearby petrochemical plant nearby. 

Paul Pogba hooked his teammates up

Star midfielder Paul Pogba got all his French national teammates an American-style championship ring to celebrate their World Cup win from last summer. It looks way cooler than any Super Bowl ring. 

#https://www.instagram.com/p/BvNHZtpgRKm/

Wait, we didn’t always call it a bracket?

Embiid and Smart almost got into it

Cool surprise by KD

The United Center’s new scoreboard looks sweet

Ex-Texas All-American spoofs that NCAA video

W made a hole in one

Not the first time he’s launched some projectiles on March 20, though. 

Not sports

The ice on Lake Michigan is melting in the coolest pattern. ... A new lamp mimics the level of daylight outside so you don’t feel like you’re inside. ... The creators of Game of Thrones are going to produce a new series of Star Wars films. 

I strongly encourage doing this

I got “88-year-old Florida man sets raccoon on fire for eating his mangoes.”

I might be the only one who finds this funny

“Bill & Ted 3” is happening

Stranger Things, Season 3

A good song

Email dan.gartland@simail.com with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to see previous editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.